Definition of
an Irish husband: He hasn't kissed his wife for twenty years,
but he will kill any man who does.
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Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he's
very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.
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The late Bishop Sheen stated that the reason the Irish fight so often among
themselves is that they're always assured
of having a
worthy opponent.
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An American lawyer asked , "Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an
Irishman a question, he answers with another question?" "Who told you
that?" asked Paddy.
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Question - Why are Irish jokes so simple? Answer - So
the English can under stand them.
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Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced
, "Not guilty." "That's
grand! "shouted Reilly. "Does that mean I can keep the money?"
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Irish lass customer: "Could I be trying on that dress in the window?"
Shopkeeper: "I'd prefer that you use the dressing room."
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Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, "Is that you I hear spittin' in the vase on
the mantle piece?"
"No," said
himself, "but I'm gettin' closer all the time."
--------------------------------
Question -
What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife?
Answer -
A bachelor.
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Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock in the
morning. I can't break her of it.
Keenan: What
on earth is she doin' at that time? Finnegin:
Waitin' for me to come home
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Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital. "Quick!" He said. "Send
an ambulance, my wife is goin' to have a baby! " "Tell me, is
this her first baby?" the intern asked . "No, this is
her husband,"
--------------------------------
"O'Ryan," asked the druggist, "did that mudpack I gave you improve your
wife's appearance?"
"It did
surely," replied O'Ryan, "but it keeps fallin' off!"
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